What if?
by Lady Marianne
Summary: This story is inspired in Kate Winslet's song. Rose has fulfilled her dream and has become a succesful actress, but she keps wondering what would have happen if she hadn't left Jack on the Titanic. One Shot R&R!


**What if…?**

Based on some situations origin by J. Cameron

She had always wanted to become a successful actress, every since she was a kid. Of course, she had never mentioned it to her parents because she knew them too well to think that they would support her. In fact, there had been one man only who she had trust enough to tell all of her secrets, but that man had spent the last 10 years of her life lying in the deep waters of the Atlantic Ocean, while she had fulfilled her dream.

There wasn't a day when Rose didn't think of him, of Jack. She had tried to push his memory away, but she was unable to do such thing, partly because it was very strong, but mainly because she didn't want to. She missed Jack and she didn't want to lose the only thing she had left from him, which was a memory.

But thinking about Jack Dawson was very painful, because she felt responsible for his death. She usually asked herself: _"What if I had never let him go? What if I had stayed?"_ She knew that it wouldn't have make a difference. But she also knew that she shouldn't have believed in Cal when he had assured her that both of them, Cal and Jack, would be able to get safely into a boat. She had always suspect that it was a lie, she had know it when she looked into Jack's eyes, but still, she had been so desperate to stay alive that she had chosen to pretend that Cal was a good man and that he was saying the truth.

"Jack, please, forgive me. I was so stupid!" she said starting to cry. She should have stayed, she shouldn't have let him go. And now… Now it was just to late to fix things. Jack was gone.

She didn't know how long she was standing like that, doing nothing but cry. She didn't feel like moving, she just wanted all the pain she was feeling to disappear. Suddenly, there was a knock in her door that brought her back to reality.

"Ready, Rose? The show is starting in half an hour." It was Lisa, Rose manager and best friend. One look at the red haired was enough for her to understand what was going on. She was the only one who knew the whole story. "Honey… Stop doing this to yourself! It's not your fault, you know it. He wanted you to be fine, he wanted you to live the life you dreamt of, he..."

"Don't you get it? The life I've always dreamt of was next to him! Oh, Lisa. I would love to sleep under a bridge if Jack was by my side. I would happily go back to my old life, next o my mother and the stupid of Cal if only I knew that Jack is there to save me."

They remained in silence for a while, until Rose calmed down a bit, then her friend said:

"We should really get going, they are waiting for you."

"No… I can't do this. I thought I could, but I can't… It's just too hard."

As we said before, after 10 years of hard work, Rose Dawson was a quite famous actress, having worked in one or two motion pictures and in more than a few theatre plays. But that day she was about to start a new chapter of her career. Someone (she couldn't remember exactly who he was, but she assumed it must have been a director of hers) had discovered that she could sing and had offered her a live performance in a theatre to see if people like it or not. She wasn't very sure, but Lisa finally convinced her and now, there she was…, about to do her debut.

"I know it's hard and I know it hurts, but you must go on. If not for you, for him… Don't you think he would have want you to be happy? You deserve this chance, Rose. You've worked a lot to get it."

It took her another while to convince Rose, but she finally agreed to sing two songs on stage. Two. All she wanted was to get home and go to sleep and dream about Jack.

Rose washed her face a bit and the two girls left for the stage.

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Rose was a bit more relaxed now that she had seen that people seemed to like her. She had sang the two songs she had promised Lisa, but she had also sang three more. She just loved to be on stage. There she could forget about how miserable she was for a while and have fun.

She saw Lisa telling her that it was time to leave, but she ignored her. All of the sudden she had felt that she had to do one last thing before leaving and she was trying to make up her mind.

"I know it's time for me to leave," She said to the microphone in front of her "but there's a song I would love to sing to you. I wrote it myself and it's dedicated to someone very special to me. I hope he's listening."

Rose Dawson often asked herself what her life would have been if she had stayed with Jack when the Titanic was sinking. She wandered if Jack would have survived if she had been by his side, or if she at least died with him. It was a piece of luggage too heavy to carry by herself, but she had found the way to take some of that weight from her back. She had put it in a song.

_Here I stand alone  
With this weight upon my heart  
And it will not go away  
In my head I keep on looking back  
Right back to the start  
Wondering what it was that made you change_

Well I tried  
But I had to draw the line  
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind

What if I had never let you go  
Would you be the man I used to know  
If I'd stayed  
If you'd tried  
If we could only turn back time  
But I guess we'll never know

She closed her eyes and saw Jack and herself on the Titanic. Jack… It felt great to sing that song. Was Jack listening to her? Yes… He was always there by her side, caring for her. He was her guardian angel.

But… What would have her life been if Jack was alive? Would he still love her? Would he have kept his promise to take her to Santa Monica or was it all a trick? Had he loved her or was he really after her money? She couldn't keep all that questions in the back of her head for any longer. All of the sudden she began to cry as she tried to end the song, but she was unable. When she finished the first chorus, she was almost incapable to stay on her feet. She dropped the microphone and run to her room to cry.

Lisa saw her friend and run after her. The moment she had heard the song she understood that it was dedicated to Jack and feared how Rose would react.

"Rose. Are you ok? Rose?" But her friend was sobbing so loud that she couldn't hear her, or if she could, she was ignoring her. "Rose, please, Rose."

Finally Rose reacted and looked at Lisa.

"What if I had stayed, Lisa? What if I had stayed? Perhaps we would be together right now. Dead, but together… I can't take this any more. I want to be with Jack! "

"Rose, you're freaking me out! You are very nervous because of the show. You have to lay down and take a nap, ok?"

"Yeah, you're right. I do have to rest." Rose said, and then she added as if she was talking to herself. "I have to sleep and never wake up. Don't worry, Lisa. From now onwards Jack will take care of me. "

"That's it. I'm calling a doctor. " her friend said, starting to get really worried. What was wrong with Rose? She looked hesitantly to her friend, who had her eyes fixed on the wall. She needed a doctor, but could she be left alone? What if she tried to kill herself as she said she would.

Suddenly she felt someone behind her. She turned around and saw a tall blond man. She had never seen him before, but still she felt as if she knew him.

"Rose…" he whispered.

The actress turn around and faced the man. She knew him, even though she hadn't seen him in what had seemed an eternity. For the last 10 minutes she had been out of her mind, unable to think clearly, but now that she saw him… It was too much to take all at once. Her head ached as if it had been recently smashed with a wall.

The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was Lisa kneeling next to her bed.

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"Quickly, go get some help!" the man told Lisa as he kneeled next to Rose.

The other girl wasn't going to leave her friend who had just lost consciousness next to a complete stranger.

"Rose? Please Rose… Don't do this to me right now… Rose?" the man was saying.

Lisa wondered who he was and how he had met Rose, but she didn't have time to ask him, because the moment she open her mouth, she saw that Rose was moving. She pushed the man away and got closer to the girl.

"Rose? Thanks god! What happened to you?" she wanted to know.

Her friend opened the eyes and looked at something behind her manager's shoulder. Then, she said with a smile:

"Jack…"

For a minute Lisa thought that Rose was definitively out of her mind. First, she had made very clear that she wanted to kill herself and now she was calling her 'Jack'. Rose really needed to rest.

"I thought I had lost you forever…"

"Rose, I…" she began, not too sure of how to continue. She know that Rose's heart could break if she wasn't careful. But, all of the sudden, she heard someone answering for her.

"I thought I had lost you too. I didn't see your name in the survivors list…"

Lisa then remembered the man she had pushed away. Could he really be Jack Dawson? All she know about him was that he was a tall blond man with eyes 'as blue as the ocean it self. As soon as you look into them you feel safe', according to what Rose had once told her.

"Rose…? Is this…?"

She didn't even bother to ask. It was clear that neither Rose or the man were there anymore. They were in their own universe.

"Ok. I'll leave you two alone for a while." She said, leaving the room.

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Rose had forgotten that she had a friend called Lisa and that she was in the same room she was, so she didn't even noticed that she had left. All she could see was Jack.

Jack had also eyes for Rose only. After 10 years he was facing the love of his life again. She had read about a Rose Dawson who was singing that night in a theatre not to far from the house he had rented. He had decided to go, only because he was bored of life and needed to do different things all the time. When he got to the theatre, the show had already started, so he had had to stay in a corner, unable to get closer to the stage.

He liked the singer's voice because he felt that it had some kind of power over him, but it wasn't until the last song that he had recognized Rose. Well, in fact he hadn't. There was something about the lyric that made him remember those 3 days on the Titanic and what it had come after that. He too often wondered what would have happen if Rose had stayed with him. Perhaps it would have been for the best, because for him Rose had been dead.

After the show was over, he had decided to go backstage and see if he could get a closer look of the singer. He had seen something in her but he didn't know exactly what it was. Now he knew, he had seen Rose.

"What happened to you? Why couldn't I find you?" she asked beginning to cry.

Jack saw her crying and instinctively went closer to her to comfort her. He had never forgot how it felt to have her there, how week she seemed to be but how strong she really was. She too had never forgotten how safe she felt in his arms.

"A boat picked me up from the water. They said I was unconscious and that I was barely breading. I guess they felt guilty for taking too long to return the boats, so they started picking up those who seemed… 'better'. After that I was forced to stay in the hospital until we got to New York. And what about you? Why wasn't your name…" he wanted to ask her why her name wasn't in the list, but he suddenly realized that he was holding Rose Dawson, the actress. "You took my name?"

"I didn't think you would care… It just felt the right thing to do. After all, I wanted to be a Dawson. Are you mad at me?"

"Mad? God, how could I be mad at you? I'm mad at myself, for not thinking about it before, I'm mad at the Titanic for hitting that iceberg, I'm mat at the iceberg… But not at you, Rose. You don't know how happy I feel right now. I never thought I could feel this way… Not since that day on the Titanic when you told me you wanted to going away with me… "

Rose then feared something. It had been 10 years. There so many things that may have change about Jack… He could be married! She still wanted to leave everything to be with him, but she knew that if she had got married there was nothing she could do about it… She had to ask him without hurting his feelings.

"Jack… That was 10 years ago. We've been through a lot when we were separated…"

"Oh, yes, and I know that. You are not the 17 year old spoil woman I met on the Titanic, and I'm not 20 anymore. I know." Jack tried to sound calm. He had thought that Rose was dismissing him. Why, he didn't exactly know. Perhaps she had rebuilt her life, which wasn't wrong at all, but it showed that there was no place for him.

Rose saw what he was thinking, so she quickly added:

"Well, I haven't change that much… My mother would be ashamed of me, but I'm still the Rose you knew. "

"Really?"

"Yeah. As free as one could be. But maybe I'm a bit too free. I need someone to command my life, someone who tells me what I _should _do, but not what I _ must_ do. Do you get me?" she asked, hopping that Jack would understand her.

"I think I do. What you don't want is a Cal, right?"

"Exactly."

"Good to know. I'll do my best not to turn into a Cal." Jack said getting closer to her and leaning forward to kiss her. They had been waiting for it for too long now. They melt in the kiss, and they wished it never ended.

Finally, Rose brook apart and said:

"I know I might regret this, but I need to know. You didn't get married, right? You're still the Jack Dawson I knew, right? "

It took Jack a couple of seconds to react. The first thing he did was start to laugh.

"What could possible be so funny?" she asked a bit angrily.

"You're jealous!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yeah you are! I'm not married and I have never even been close to the altar. What? Did you think I would let you go so easily?"

"No…" lied Rose.

"Come here." He said pulling him closer to him. "You're the only one in my life. Even though you were dead. I love you Rose."

"You don't even know how happy I am to listen that. I love you too Jack!"

Again, they melt into an endless kiss.

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Lisa was sitting in the living room of the house she and Rose shared, waiting for her friend to arrive. She was still very confused. Could that man really be the Jack Dawson Rose had met? Anyway, she would find out soon enough.

Suddenly, she heard some voices and the door was opened.

"… it was a disaster. I threw up a lot." Rose was saying.

The red haired entered the room the other girl was in, followed by Jack.

"Rose!" Lisa exclaimed. "Will you tell me what is going on?"

Rose looked at her friend as if she didn't recognized her. The last 10 years had left her head. All she could think about was Jack.

"Lisa! I had forgotten about you…" She said to excuse herself.

"I can see why…" the other girl muttered.

"Jack… This here is my friend, Lisa Holmes. Lisa, this is Jack Dawson, the man I talked you about."

Lisa opened and closed her mouth several times. So this was really Jack Dawson, she thought. Well, she could see why Rose was so in love with him, he was very handsome.

"Hello." She said. "Rose told me everything about you. Well, except that you were alive. I guess she forgot that little detail."

The three of them laughed.

"Well, now that everything has been cleared, I think I'm going to leave you two alone for another while. I'll be in the bar if you need me, Rose. Mr. Dawson, it's a pleasure to meet you two. See ya!"

Lisa left the room and Rose threw herself into Jack's arms.

"So you've been to the rollercoaster already?" he asked.

"Yes… And I've ride a horse (like a man, of course) and I've learn how to chew tobacco."

"Is there anything you haven't done? Somewhere I can take you?"

"Well… I haven't been to the stars since that night on the Titanic."

Jack smiled at her. She saw his blue eyes and smiled back at him. She couldn't figured out how she had managed to survived those 10 years without him, but she didn't care now. She knew that she would be next to Jack for the rest of their lives.

"Rose… Like I've said, people change. I mean, look at you! The first time I saw you, you were a perfect uptown girl, and now… Well, you are an actress and all that. Me, on the other hand… I've got nothing. Is that simple. You know I would give my world for you, but I can't afford to buy you expensive things. So, even though it breaks my heart, I'm warning you now. I love you, Rose, but if you don't want someone like me in your life, just tell me and I'll leave you alone."

She looked at him for a second and then laughed.

"Jack, like I've told you before, I love you. If you want to leave, then leave. I understand that it has been 10 years and all that crap. You don't have to stay if you want you. But remember this: I'll be following you. Don't expect me to give up on you so easily. I'm not going to let you go without a fight."

"So you are really willing to leave all of this behind just to be with me?" Jack asked, his voice full of hope.

"Oh, Jack… I'll be extremely happy to." She replied smiling.

They kissed, too happy to do anything else. For 10 years the had been hopping to be together, and now… There they were.

"So… You haven't been to the stars? I can take you there, if you like…"

The only answer he got was a kiss on his lips.

No more 'what if…?' They had finally turned back time and they were together, forever. No Cal, no Ruth, no iceberg would turn them apart ever again. They were Jack and Rose.

**The End**


End file.
